DO YOU NEED RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING? Couples often put off seeing a therapist, hoping that things will work themselves out on their own.  Many times we think the issues got resolved, when what really happened is we forgot about it, and then the same issue rears it ugly head again.  And when it comes back with it brings back all the resentment from fighting about it before.  When this occurs again and again, it erodes a couple’s relationship, eventually reaching a point of no return.  Think of relationship counseling as divorce prevention. Could your relationship be at this point?Take this quiz and find out. 

Quiz:1)      Do you often feel hurt and/or angry by your mate’s actions? 

2)      Do you keep thinking “If I do this or that, our relationship will improve,” but it doesn’t? 

3)      Do you fight about the same issues again and again? 

4)      Does the “divorce” word sometimes get thrown up during fights by one or both of you? 

5)      Do your fights often seem to be about ridiculous things?  (signs of a power struggle) 

6)      Do your edit your conversation with your mate, feeling that it’s emotionally unsafe to just say it like it is( because you may be judged, criticized and/or not understood)? 

7)      Do you feel lonely in your own home? 

      Do you wish that your relationship had more fun, more intimacy and/or more peacefulness in it? 

9)      Do you think that if he or she would just change, then you would be happy? 

10)    Are you sometimes embarrassed by your own behavior in the relationship (and fear what you may be teaching your kids)?           

If you answered yes to only 1 or 2 of the questions above, you can probably talk to your mate and work these issues out yourself .  3 – 5 yes answers means that you and your mate need to set aside time and do some serious talking and try to work through our issues.  If couples would talk to each other more, they wouldn’t need me (or any therapist) as much.  If you answered yes to more than 5 of these questions, you definitely need relationship counseling.  Don’t do what most couples do and wait to come in when one of you already wants a divorce or has cheated – often too much damage has been done to fix the relationship by then.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 11th, 2008 at 5:48 pm and is filed under Therapy, Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.